Myspace nostalgia

I was just browsing my old Myspace blog and I can't help but feel like nothing much has changed in regards to the way I think. Most of it is pretty pessimistic stuff, but then there is also a hint of optimism in them.

But I honestly have to say that I felt quite sad after reading it. I have a friend on there who I hardly talk to anymore, even though we used to talk everyday over MSN as she lived about two hours away, and we would tell each other all our problems. We would successfully cheer each other up every time and I really miss that. Not to say that I don't feel cheered up after talking to my friends now, but I still miss that particular friendship. We are still friends now, don't get me wrong, but we just seemed to have lost that special bond and I don't really know why it happened. We didn't have a falling out or anything...

I also feel that the fact that I still get worried from time to time about a particular relationship between me and a good friend, is a really big wake up call to the fact that I really need to pull my socks up with all of that. Not that I still get as negative about everything like I used to, I am a lot happier these days and have been since around the middle of last year. But I am finding myself still thinking about the same things sometimes and forgetting some other more important things. I can't go into detail with it though, because it's such a long story and a bit personal. All I'm saying is that I haven't felt like this all year about a particular part of this situation and then recently it was brought up again and I lost it, again. Hysteria is my middle name when it comes to these situations. Not that I'd say I'm alone with it though. But I don't want to be like that anymore. I need to remember what has been said to me, and what I have promised to myself time and time again.

I feel like it is really time to fix a lot of things in regards to the way I think of the world around me. I have so much pent up negativity, but so much hope in trying to make things better at the same time, that I actually end up losing hope in everything because I can't take it. It's just a horrible feeling when you feel like you've come such a long way but then realise that some things are still the same. I don't want to go backwards.