Reflection

It's nearing the end of this semester, the end of the first year of art college. It's had its fun, lonely and stressful times and I have to say that first year will most probably not be a favourite of mine. I'm hoping that next year will be a lot more fun, and that I'll make a lot more friends than I have this year once I get used to everything a lot more. I'm not a hundred percent sure whether I will end up transferring to a different degree next year, but the application is in and is being assessed regardless, so that I have the choice to accept it or not.

I'm trying to think really hard right now about whether or not I want to stop taking Jewellery. I've done one semester of it and as bad as it has been, maybe second year will be a hundred times better because I'll be used to the surroundings and the people. I'm already getting used to everything about jewellery, bar some things like using machinery or getting started on new projects, and even though I have such a passion for hating the subject, at times I feel really amazed by the fact that I can now create these things from scratch - something that I never really saw myself doing until the last year. If I quit jewellery I will never really see how far I could take my ideas in 3d form, and never see what I could come up with conceptually in this method of expression. At least not for a few years if I decide to go back to it one day. When I really try to think about the next two years, it occurs to me that one university year really isn't that long. Each semester goes for only about 14 weeks and jewellery makes it seem all the faster because of how much work goes into each project. I'm thinking that maybe I could stick to it just for another two years to complete the course, and by then maybe I'll like it enough to do honours if I get in or else go to other colleges to learn more specific areas of jewellery making. I could take it all pretty far in the future....there is a lot of potential and I think about how it could end up that I start a really cool line of jewellery. Anything can happen.

If I decide to drop Fine Arts and transfer to Art Theory, I will be writing a lot and taking drawing electives to cater for every part of me that enjoys the comfort of sitting in solitude and writing or drawing, and it sounds amazing. But if I did jewellery, I could have such a wider art practice and more pathways to choose from, and I can draw all the time at home.

Maybe all of this stressing out over jewellery will help me in the future. Maybe its a sign that I will do really well with this in the future. Maybe it will all pay off in the end. There is still that bit of hope and motivation to keep doing jewellery, but always those moments when I just want to drop it and be comfortable.

I guess all I can do now is wait and see how my current project pans out and see how I feel about it all at the end of this month. No doubt I will be writing a blog entry about it soon.